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Our Values
Accountability & Integrity
The New Warrior Training AdventureTM is about taking a look at our lives as men - how they work and how they don't work. Here a man learns how to be fully accountable for his actions and their consequences; how to begin integrating the dark and soulful qualities of his masculine nature; how to stand up and take full responsibility for his life. He learns to find courage in the face of his deepest fears, and to understand the he has the opportunity to live a life of integrity and congruence. He learns to transcend the momentum of toxic masculinity, finding within himself the sacred masculine energy that is capable of discernment and protection that seeds life with passion, zeal, and creativity. He learns to step forward as a man without apologizing for who he is, stewarding that energy with an open heart and compassionate mindfulness.
A mature man is one who knows himself well enough to understand why he is here and what he is committed to. A man spends his energy on what he values. We have been conditioned to value things outside us. Sooner or later, the material life gives way to the interior life, and we have only one place left to go to discover the real richness of our lives - inside our own hearts and souls. If you are a man ready to invest in his own heart, the NWTA may be for you.
Connection To Feelings
Many men have been taught to value thinking and to distrust feelings. They have been desensitized, taught to endure pain without complaint, and told that it is an honor to sacrifice our bodies for society. As a result, many men suffer from isolation and are prone to addictions and to acting out their feelings in dysfunctional ways. Many are afraid of intimacy, both with men and with women. They hide behind masks that are brittle and in need of repair.
Many men are sad, lonely, frightened, angry, and ashamed, and don't even know it. And with the loss of their feelings, they also lose what is most precious to them: Their ability to value their world and to hold life dear.
Other men know their feelings perhaps too well. They have learned to indulge in their feelings and use them to manipulate others, often the ones they love most. They lack the ability to stand in their own authenticity. Lost in their feelings, they too lose what is most precious to them: Their ability to be trusted and loved.
There is another way. On the New Warrior Training AdventureTM men re-discover their feelings with their feet on the ground. They begin to learn to clarify what they're feeling and to express those feelings directly and authentically. They begin to learn to balance the depth of the heart with the wisdom of the mind. If this kind of authenticity sounds attractive to you, the NWTA may be for you.
"Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man's true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one."
David Deida
Leadership
Stepping up to lead or mentor takes courage. It means putting oneself on the line, taking a risk, becoming vulnerable.
It means confronting the fear within that wants to keep us small and safe. But sooner or later, we run out of places to hide. The only way out of our fear is to move through it. Real courage only has meaning in the face of our deepest terrors. Once we find the courage to stop running away from ourselves, we finally step into our lives as men. We become fully alive and present, able to give our gifts to the world with a sense of purpose and clarity, with neither apology nor arrogance.
We step into our relationships more fully:
- able to commit
- able to be intimate
- able to listen with our hearts
- able to speak our deepest truth
Fatherhood
Our culture is beginning to awaken to the reality that we are collectively suffering from a lack of healthy fathering. More attention is being focused on the importance of fathers, "not just as economic providers, but as nurturers, disciplinarians, role models, mentors, moral instructors, and skill coaches" says Dr. Wade Horn of the National Fatherhood Initiative.
Many of us grew up either without fathers or with fathers who rarely gave us the attention that we deeply and secretly yearned for. Every young boy needs the clear and loving reflection of an older man, one who sees him not only for who he is, but for who he might become.
A young man ventures out into the world along the path that his father has prepared for him. If he has been blessed, admired, and fed by his father, he will step out into the world with a strong sense of who he is. If he has been abandoned by his father, or told that he is not enough, his steps will be tentative and cautious. He will remain hungry and empty, and will continually look for validation for what he has done.
Our training creates an opportunity for each man to be honored and blessed, not for what he has done, but rather for who he is. When a man finally accepts and believes that he is enough, he can offer his gifts freely, rather than selling them for recognition.
Our training will not necessarily make a man a better father. But it will certainly put him in touch with the theme of fatherhood that he carries within himself. We often father our children in precisely the same ways that we were fathered, and if we are to turn the tide, it is essential that we examine the legacy we've received from our own fathers. If you are a son or if you are a father, the NWTA may be for you.
By doing this training, I finally came to terms with my own father, as I was able to forgive him for the marvelously imperfect job that he did. And I can now forgive myself when I am an imperfect dad. The men in my community help me to remember that the most important part of being a good dad is simply to love my sons and to love their mother.
Dennis Mead-Shikaly, Ashland, Oregon
The Blessing of Elders
In traditional cultures, elder men have been valued as repositories of wisdom, strength and unconditional love. This is much less the case in a world that worships youth and the acquisition of material objects. There is a hunger in younger men for the "grandfather energy" that only an elder can provide. Within the ManKind Project the elders are a powerful circle of men that bless, counsel and gift younger men with the experience and learning they have gathered though the years. If you are 50 years old or older we invite you to join the ManKind Project's Council of Elders after you have completed the New Warrior Training Adventure™. If joining a group of men who understand the true blessings that come from a life well lived, the NWTA may be for you.
The NWTA changed my life. So has being part of The ManKind Project community. I have discovered how to be an elder, not a senior citizen, not an old person, not one of the elderly, but a true and wise elder. I now know what the next and last phase of my life is about and I am eager to take it on. I don't intend to be put out to pasture, or be warehoused in a nursing home. I intend to stay engaged with the world as an elder, sharing my wisdom and blessing younger men and women who want to be seen and heard. Not only that, I intend to call out other elders to join me, as I have come to see just how powerful a role we have. It's good for us and good for everyone else. I have a mission for the last quarter of my life, which is: 'I co-create a world of harmony by seeing and blessing people for who they truly are.'
Alan Gilburg, Bethesda, Maryland
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